Morning News


Watching the news this morning I learned a few facts that I thought I should bring to your attention.  First of all, it’s the time of the year that the male tarantula is the on prowl.  Searching out his mate.  He has waited a decade for this year, and now he is a man.  Poor sucker, once he gets his rocks off, he has about 2 weeks to live.  And he only does it once.  ONCE!!  What the hell.  I don’t get it.  Wait 10 years, finally start getting horny and then slam, bam, thank you ma’am.  You’re dead.  Glad I’m not a fucking male spider.

Also.  News anchors.  They are not the best at ad-libbing.  If it’s not on the teleprompter, they are all lost.  aahh, ummm, stuck, ummm, car,  giggle, giggle.  I find myself trying to help them along.  I wish I could make their money for them.  Poor dudes.  They must be real fun at the dinner table. 

I also think that the dude on the channel I watch in the morning has the hots for the woman they throw it to on Wall Street.  Just the dumb ass shit he says to her.  Yikes.  I feel like he’s a freaking high school boy.  Or maybe it’s just that he is terrible at ad-libbing and the creepy dude that you all couldn’t stand in school comes out.  Just sayin’.

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