30 Days of Truth – Day 3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

 I need to forgive myself for not always being around when my kids were growing up.  Back when my kids were little, me and my husband decided that there was no way they were going to daycare.  One of us needed to quit our job and be home with them.  I was making more money than my husband at the time, so I kept my job.  He was a great dad to them.  Would actually get out there and play with them.  Many times I came home to them sitting in corners, so he certainly wasn’t a pushover dad.  He did such a great job.

I’m sometimes really jealous of the fact that he was the one that got to see them do most of their “first time” things instead of me.  But I am forever grateful that he was able to see it and not someone that really didn’t care about them. 

I would have to put in long hours, which included a lot of overtime.  I would take over the kid duty when I got home from work.  It really made me realize that stay at home moms have a freaking hard job.  My husband was so exhausted by the end of the day.  He needed his time.  It really makes me not like a lot of men, that work all day and then come home and won’t even lift a finger to help with the kids.  dammit, your wife has done a shitload of stuff all day, you can spell her for an hour or 2.  I did it, worked full time, went home was a mom until they were in bed, was the mom on the weekends. 

I hope that today my kids understand that we did what we had to do at the time.  I must have done something right tho because I have great relationships with all 3 of them. 

But I still find myself trying to forgive myself for not always being around. 

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