Fawk You Friday 11.12.10

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I have a big ole Fuck You to a certain someone who is a stalker.  And then said stalker stalks people that leave comments on other peoples blogs asking them to “come read the other side of the story”.   I understand there is always 2 sides to a story. 

But dear stalker.  You are a very hateful, mean, unfeeling person.  Telling someone to GET OVER IT over the death of their child is HEARTLESS!!!!  In her words, “its been 6 years, get over it”. 

Bitch, only someone that is supposedly a good mother, and a heartless, no soul person, would tell another mother to GET OVER THE DEATH OF THEIR CHILD.  I feel sorry for your children.  Apparently you are not their soft place to fall. 

Time makes the hurt not so bad, but you NEVER, EVER, EVER get over the death of a child.   

Fuck you!!!!  Yeah, not even a Fawk You.  You needed the real words.  You are a hurtful bitch.  I can’t wait till Karma reaches it’s ugly arms around you and hurts you. 

‘Nuff said.

Posted in Fawk You | 6 Comments

Trip To The Paint Store

So, you all know that PWT is planning on painting her child’s playroom.  What, you didn’t know that.  Well by damn, you better go check it out.  Freak people.  You must always know what PWT is up too.  Oh wait, I must always know what she’s up to.  I’m her bodyguard. 

Anypainting, she gives me a call and orders asks me to go to the paint store.  Being the ever chameleon that I am, I threw on had my body painting friend paint me on an outfit.  Why you ask?  Because you dumbasses, I was going to the paint store.  Duh.

Cool huh.  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  And I knew that if I looked “just right” for the boys, I could get some awesome discounts, and hand out PWT’s “business card”. 

So I headed to the nearest paint store. 

I chose this one because I just thought the name and building were so damn cute. 

I went in, of course, the men came running right to me.  There were some little old ladies in there that were mighty pissed.  But then, I was hot, so shut up bitches.  🙂

God, all of the sudden, I hear the little chiming of the door.  Look back, security is on my case.  Fuck.  That’s all I need.  Them wondering where in the hell PWT was, and what she was doing.  It’s the middle of the day bitches, she’s SLEEPING.  She had a rough night last night.  She turned in her money.  Go pick on one of the other royals.  We certainly didn’t see them all out last night.  Fuck off.  They started towards me, but I sprang into action, with my new found “boy toys” and we kicked their asses to the curb.  Ha, that will teach them the errors in their ways of not making me Royal Security. 

The boys sprang into action, got me the paint I needed and I was on my way.  Can’t wait to see the finished product at PWT’s place.  I’m sure it’s gonna rock.

Oh, and Queen.  PWT is going to be rocking the street tonight.  I have found some new “customers” for her.  And only her.  You other royals better keep your grimy hands off of them. 

I’ll be watching you!!!!


Posted in Chameleon | 4 Comments

Fawk You Friday 11.5.10

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Time for Fawk You Friday.  Thanks to Boobies and My Mad Mind for this chance to get some bitches off my chest.

Fawk you once again weirdo that I work with.  Every word out of your mouth sickens me.  You are a freak of nature.  If my husband said half the stuff to your wife that you say to me, she would think I was married to a pervert.  Oh wait, she is married to a pervert.  You are sick.  Get help.

Fawk you to dumb ass people that don’t learn about their elected officials, but FOLLOW LIKE SHEEP to the slaughter others, because “that is who my church would want me to vote for”.  Grow some fucking balls, study and learn, then you have the right to vote.  Until then, fuck off. 

That is all I have this week.  I’m tired.  So Fawk me for being tired.

Posted in Fawk You | 8 Comments

Do you believe?

Do you believe in the paranormal?

I do!

I always have been curious about it.  Then I started seeing shows on tv about it like Paranormal State, Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International, Ghost Adventurers…you get the idea.  It really intrigues me.

I don’t know if my interest in it makes me more aware of things, or maybe I have a big imagination…but part of me thinks there might be some paranormal stuff going on in my home.

It started when my youngest was able to talk, there were several times when she & I were the only ones home, and she would look down our hallway and say, “Mom, who is that?” or “Mom, what is that person’s name?”.  At first I thought wow, that’s kinda weird, she must have quite the imagination.  Then I thought hmmm maybe she really is seeing something?  Kids are more likely to see things I hear.

Another thing that makes me wonder is, my daughter is almost 3, and she wakes up several times a night crying.  She brings up monsters, and scary things sometimes.  A week or so ago she said something scary was talking to her by her bed.  Imagination? Probably….but…maybe not?

Recently, a few more things have happened.  The kids & I were home alone.  Everyone but me was sleeping.  I heard a noise.  It sounded like a knob or dial being turned, and it made like a clicking noise as it turned.  I laid in bed trying to figure out what the noise could be, but couldn’t figure it out.  I know it wasn’t something the cats could have done.  Then later that day, my daughter was playing with her toy kitchen, and she turned a knob on it and it sounded just like what I heard when I was in bed early that morning!  Weird eh?

The next day my hubby was home and had just showered.  I was getting ready to go take my shower, and he stopped me in the hallway, and asked me if I heard that?  I’m like ummm heard what?  He said he thought he heard a voice. 

It is weird, creepy, kind of frightening, but kind of not…I mean, if there is something here, it hasn’t really tried to hurt anyone…although if my daughter really is seeing something, it does seem to be scaring her.  But no physical hurting.

So, am I crazy?  Am I imagining things?  Does watching these shows put ideas into my head that normally wouldn’t be there?  Should I see about having paranormal investigators come to my house?  What do you think?

Posted in What The? | 7 Comments

Drunken Tub Reflections

One Crazy Brunette Chick

The Dutchess gets really upset when we don’t play along with her.  And being that I am somewhat, sort of, kinda like, “part of the team”, I decided to play along in order to stay on the payroll.

We have a customer that gives me the heebie-geebies.  Not in the “I’m an axe murderer” way, but in the “not being into women/men his own age way.  If you catch my drift.  Came in yesterday to pay on his account.  He always talks to me in a weird voice, kind of like the “hey little girl, you want some candy” voice.  Should it not surprise me that he said, “I took MOM to Wendover over the weekend”.  Not my mom, just mom.  Got the picture of  Norman Bates and his weird relationship with his mom in my head.  (maybe I need to use my awesome PI skills to check this dude out)

Why must I work with some true weirdo’s.  I work with a weirdo that we will call, ok, weirdo.  He is in his older 50’s and thinks everything that comes out of his mouth is funny.  Yesterday he came into my office and announced that he had to leave because he had a doctors appointment or two.  Then he laughs his weirdo laugh and says, get it, number 2, and proceeds to show how the doctor is going to be shoving his finger up his ass.  I don’t know, maybe he is all excited about another man fingering his ass, but TMI weirdo.  Didn’t need the fucking visual.

I must to go wash out my ears and eyes now.  The 2 freakoids really need to just go down the drain with the water. 



Posted in What The? | 2 Comments

Just A Ditty for Your…….

Just a little something to start off the week.


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Rumblings From Security

I heard a rumor that security has been roaming the street corners, making sure the girls are working.  PWT hasn’t been working the streets lately.  I have been walking said street corner trying to help the cause, but my god, PWT has the pickiest god damn Johns I have ever seen.  “No, it has to be PWT.  She knows what I like”.  Damn it PWT, why do you have to be such a hot bitch.  

I’ve been a smidge worried about you this week.  I know you are probably drowning in the gin right now, due to the fact that the streets have been crawling with clowns.  God Damn Clowns.    I gave your therapist a call.  He wants you to see him.  I have to do all in my power to get you there.  We are going to get you through Halloween without any more breakdowns. 

But hey, I got you a little something-something in case you have to go to the “spa” for some special treatment.

Isn’t that just the sexiest straight jacket robe you have seen.  I also got you some boots just to make sure you felt like you were in your environment. 

You are going to be rocking those hallways, that The Queen will be happy with the money you are turning in. 

As far as Security is concerned, you are on your corner. 

Posted in Chameleon | 6 Comments